Are you always striving for your very best, at work, in school, in relationships or with food? Do you have that constant, low grade nagging voice that still yet, tells you it’s all just not good enough?
Perfect as a habit can show up many places in our life, not just the food.
Bad news is, when perfectionism is a habit of the mind, it’s an automatic way of thinking and will be AS EASY to think ‘it’s just not good enough’ as it is to tie your shoes.
Good news is, habits – even of the mind – can be changed…
Watch this video as I explain how to begin THINKING DIFFERENTLY through tools we use in the Habit & Behavior Change Curriculum.
In this video:
- The Habit & Behavior Change Curriculum is an online curriculum of four foundational life courses designed to provide the tools – required for stress, binge and emotional eaters – to learn to THINK differently to create permanence and peace of mind.
- Click here to begin your monthly membership, for your mind.
Do you have that little nagging voice that you hear all the time, that voice of it’s not enough? It’s not good enough. You didn’t do it well enough. You could have showed up differently. You didn’t do it perfect enough. Maybe it’s in your job, in your finances, in your relationships or even in your food. My name is Maya. I’m a behavioral registered dietitian, the food and nutrition contributor to 3TV here in the valley in Phoenix, Arizona and the creator of the online habit behavior change curriculum. It’s a curriculum of life courses designed for stress binge and emotional eaters, chronic and yo-yo dieters to help us because yes, that used to be me into permanence and peace of mind, not another diet but learning to think differently. That’s how permanence occurs.
This little voice that you’re hearing is around perfectionism. Perfectionism is a mental habit. It shows up in a lot of different ways. It’s been really a reoccurring theme this whole week with clients. That’s why I wanted to share it with you this week to talk a little bit more about perfectionism and break it down into exactly what it is because I need you to recognize that thought habits, the way we think, it’s habitual. It’s as easy for you to think perfectionist all or nothing thoughts as it is to tie your shoes, ride a bike or drive your car. It’s that simple. You do it, and it’s automatic, and it’s autopilot. Your brain is actually wired, and you’re not your brain. Your brain is wired to think that way, to have only perfectionism thoughts because if it’s not perfect, it’s not good enough. That not enoughness, it really drives what we do, what we think and what we feel. It has these nasty roots in a lot of things that we do and really drives these unwanted behaviors even in our food.
Knowing that it’s as easy for you to think perfectionism thoughts, all or nothing, it’s perfect, or it’s not good enough and therefore screw it all. It’s I’m on a food plan, and I’m doing it perfectly, or I’m not doing it all, so I may as well eat everything in sight. The voices of perfectionism come in many different ways, and they sound very differently for many of us, but they’re all rooted in the same exact habit of perfectionism. It’s a habit of the mind. What you learn in the curriculum, what journey goers learn is that we have to learn how to redirect our thought patterns. If we are hard-wired to think in perfectionist terms only, it is not easy for us to think middle ground, to think of any other way. All we know is all in or all out, pizza, cake, carrots and celery, all or nothing thoughts. That’s the only way our brain thinks.
In order to think a different thought we have to be the director of our brain instead of being the directed of it, meaning that we have to direct our thinking through questions such as how can I see this differently? How can I feel better about this? What might be a middle ground road that I can take? What might be more balanced? It’s those things that we don’t think about. We don’t think about them because perfectionism is automatic. We have to start thinking differently in order to find that middle ground road. It’s very habitual for your brain to say, that’s not enough. That’s not good enough. You should be doing more. We teach stepping stone routines with our food to automate our food, meaning if I want to start eating less sugar, I don’t go all or nothing. I maybe start reducing some of the sugar in my coffee and stop there. That’s simple. In the same way, we have to use stepping stone routines for thoughts.
I cannot ask you to go from this all or nothing place and say … It’s like looking in the mirror. I look in the mirror, and I don’t like what I see, and I berate myself versus looking in the mirror and saying, “Oh my god, you’re such a sexy beast.” That doesn’t work. That’s very all or nothing. You actually are not going to believe that new thought. In order to adopt that new thought we have to use stepping stone routines once again. This is again all taught in the habit and behavior change curriculum when you learn to think differently because that’s how we change the game. With perfectionism, a really common thought redirection that I’ve always used sounds like it’s not perfect yet, but it’s on its way. It’s not perfect yet, but it’s awful damn good right now. It’s not perfect yet, but I’m looking forward to it becoming okay.
Whatever way that you can use to reduce the resistance in your mind, reduce the resistance that says I can’t ask you to go from this isn’t good enough to I’m doing my very best, this totally works, because you’re not going to believe that, but you can find the next thought that aligns with the least amount of resistance. Does that make sense? You are going to find the next thought that aligns with the least amount of resistance, that says you know what? It’s not perfect yet. I’d like it to be perfect, but I’m on my way. I’m finding a better way. That new thought that you’re adopting helps redirect the old thought. You start thinking differently. You repeat that so many times, and you can start adopting that next thought on the next stepping stone routine. All the while you are starting to rewire your brain to think differently which then allows you trickling down because thoughts produce emotions, produce behaviors which you learn in the habit and behavior change curriculum, that it eventually changes the very actions, the unwanted actions such as food and busyness and alcohol and whatever other behaviors you’re using to sweep things under the rug. It ultimately changes that whole train of events effortlessly, easily and naturally.
If you want to learn more about thought redirection, if perfectionism is something that really is a problem for you and really wreaks havoc in different areas of your life, join us. Join us inside the habit behavior change curriculum. I have switched things up completely, and it’s now a membership. It’s a membership for your mind and in the same way you go to the gym, and you learn how to work out your muscles, and you exercise your muscles, you come to the habit behavior change curriculum designed for stress, binge and emotional eaters, chronic and yo-yo dieters to create permanence and peace of mind. You come here to learn how to think differently. Again, a membership for the mind. All the links that you need are right below this video. I hope that you join us. I hope that you become a journey goer, and I’d like to welcome you into the community. If you’re experiencing perfectionism thoughts, your next step is to find the next thought along the path of least resistance that you can adopt easily, effortlessly and naturally and being to redirect your mind as such. Have a great week.