It’s common to speak with clients and students who feel depression, despair, hopelessness and even powerlessness as emotional habits on this journey. When all they want is to lose weight, there’s something more important that has to happen first. Watch this video as I explain what emotional habits are and the first steps out of this unwanted habit. 


Video Transcription

Are you a chronic dieter, yo-yo dieter, or stress binge emotional eater who falls into this pit, this deep dark trap of depression or hopeless or despair or powerlessness and you just can’t seem to find your way out? My name is Maya. I’m a behavioral registered dietitian, founder here at Healthy Habit Solutions, and creator of the Enoughness Factor. It’s an entire online curriculum of life courses to help you not only lose weight, but to cultivate new physical, mental, and emotional habits by creating a new foundation of what I call enoughness.

Some of us often get tripped up on this journey when it comes to depression, and what I want you to know and what I need you to know about depression or any less than desirable emotion for that matter is that it’s an emotional habit. Right? Habits are those automatic, autopilot ways and states of living, breathing, existing in this world. There are things that we do without even thinking about it. Whatever the circumstances in life, whatever thought patterns happen in your mind, it causes an automatic depression response, an automatic emotional response.

You see, something very important that we teach in this work is that belief systems, enoughness or not enoughness, drive our everyday thought patterns, which are mental habits, which drive our everyday emotions, which are emotional habits, and those drive our behaviors. How many times have you just been feeling down and out, depressed, and hopeless and it’s hard to do what we know we should be doing for our own weight loss? It’s hard to choose the apple or Brussels sprout over the candy bar.

How many times when you’re feeling good is it simple to choose the apple and the Brussels sprout? It’s easier to choose the apple and the Brussels sprout. Which means that the most important thing that you need to hear out of this video today is that your job is not to fight the apple or the Brussels sprout. Your job is to go feel better now. That is your job, so let’s talk about what’s the process. How do I break this down and make this happen for myself? Number one, I need you to know that it is okay to feel. It’s okay to feel.

This is a feeling journey, this journey that I take my clients and students on is a five-stage growth process, and in those five growth stages, they don’t know where they’re at unless they identify with how they’re feeling. Because how you’re feeling tells us where we are at on the journey and what our most next right move is. I have a link right below this video for the introductory course. The introductory course is totally free to you. It explains all five growth phases and what they are, so you can join us and learn a little bit more about the Enoughness Factor curriculum and how it works and what these growth phases are.

Number one, it’s okay to feel because you can’t go through the journey if you don’t learn to tap in and feel, knowing that depression and powerlessness and hopelessness and despair oftentimes there is no feeling there. There’s not much feeling whatsoever. When we can tap into the pain, for lack of a better term, there’s a huge blessing that lies underneath, so feel. Feel more. Number two, you’ve got to make a conscious choice to change. I don’t care if you don’t know how. You have to make a conscious choice for change. I do not want to feel this anymore. I want to feel this. I want to feel happy and I want to feel content. I want to feel better. Make that your intention.

Now number three, when you’re intending to feel better, your next step is not going to be to go from depression, hopeless, despair to straight blissfulness out of your mind. That’s very all or nothing, right? There’s an emotional guidance system or emotional scale that my clients and students work through, and so down at the very bottom, that’s where depression and hopelessness and despair happens. At the very top, then we have things like gratefulness and blissfulness and happiness and all that good stuff. There’s a lot of emotions in between because feel this for just a moment. When you’re feeling depressed or despair or hopelessness, you really don’t feel much.

However, what if I said anger, frustration, or a little bit of contentment or jealousy? Can you feel that those have more power, more feeling? Those are actually higher on the emotional scale than depression or hopelessness. By working your way up, when I am asking you to feel better, I’m not asking you to go to bliss. I’m jut asking you to feel something, to work your way up that emotional scale. Now it could be a million in different things. You know what? I love the sunshine. It’s why I live in Arizona, so if I need the sunshine on my face, that’s what I go do. If I need a cup of coffee or a cup of tea, that’s what I go do. If I’ve got to sit down and meditate and quiet my mind, listen to some yoga music.

One of my favorite things to do … I haven’t done this recently … is to go to Pinterest and go to the humor section. Funniest thing in the world! Make it your job to feel good. I don’t want you watching any bad movies or listening to any bad news. Like funny. I want comedy in your life. I want happiness in your life. That is your number one goal and mission because your door at this point has closed on the food. To choose the apple, to choose the Brussels sprout is hard, and that is not the way of this journey. This journey is to be met with little to no resistance, and this journey is to be met with simplicity.

When you meet the hard, when that door closes, don’t go scheming anything else. Put everything down. Make it your job to stop planning, scheming, shitting on yourself, to go and play, have fun, and feel better. That’s your number one job right now. What I need you to know is that the very last note that I wrote for you today was that it may feel like when you are down and out completely, that it’s just not possible. I’m here to tell you that that’s incorrect. I know that when you’re stuck in that rut because I have been there myself, because clients and students go there every single day and they get themselves back up. I know and I’ve watched them and I watched myself, that when you go to that place, that it’s possible to get out. It is possible. It’s real for you. There’s something better on the other side.

Every time, that very first time that you get yourself out of it, the next times won’t be so low. They won’t feel so bad. That you are in control of what you’re thinking, which means you are in control of what you’re feeling. Because, remember, we’re only feeling what we’re feeling because of what we’re thinking. Those two are connected. When you can make it your job to go feel better, to go take an action that makes you feel better, to think a thought, to redirect your thoughts to something that makes you feel better, to take responsibility for those pieces in your life and to make a conscious choice for change. To go play and to stop being so hard on yourself and remove some of the self-judgment and self-hate that makes this worse, it is possible. Trust me.

If you want to get started on this journey with us, I’ll put like I said a button below, a link below to the introductory course. It’s me in five different videos explaining the entire growth phase process, and you’ll understand exactly where you’re at in it, and if you want to join us, how you can get started. In the meantime, remember that it is possible and to go feel good. Have a great week.